1.Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.
2. Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out.
3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat.
4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.
5. Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.
6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.
7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.
8. If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did.
8.5 If you DO sleep with them, don't tell your friends that you did.
9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it...
10. Not all of them eat like birds, alot of them can eat like whales.
11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy.
11.5. Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!
12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it's not a serious relationship.
13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.
14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to kick the s**t out of him.
15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.
16. Never, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.
17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.
18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.
19. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky.
20. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like s**t, so be understanding.
21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.
22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.
23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.
24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.
25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.
26. Memorize their god damned birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.
27. Don't marinade the cologne, but smell good.
28. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful.
29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if you draw it out.
30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, priviledge and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Saturday, November 7, 2009
LOVE
What is the one emotion that has everyone mystified? What is the one emotion that has started as many wars as it has ended? What emotion has had more plays, songs, and stories written about it than anything else? Love, that one emotion that makes enemies into friends and friends into enemies. So many legends surround this emotion, from the goddess Athena and Helen of Troy to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.
Love comes in so many different levels, that it doesn't appear to be the same emotion at all, but it is. There is so much to love, that it will be hard to put into this simple essay. It can tear people apart and make us do irrational things to bringing together entire nations. What can this emotion not do? It's hard to tell, but there is a lot it can.
This emotion, bring tears to our eyes when something happens to our family members, friends, and pets. When we feel love ripped from us, as in death or being spurned by another, we do things we wouldn't normally do, such as go on violent rampages, or mourn to the extent that our loved ones have to watch us constantly to make sure we don't try anything like suicide. Some can move on, always remembering the lost loved one after a while, but others can not let go. These are the ones that need our love and support the most.
There are so many levels to love, that I can only express a few of them here. These are the ones we see most in life. Friendship starts this list off. Yes, it doesn't seem like it, but we do feel love towards our friends, this is what helps us get along so well, and why we miss them when we don't see our friends for a long time. It's also why we hold certain friends over others no matter what happens. Sometimes, the bond between friends deepens to the point where a stronger bond of love is made, making them family.
Another level of love, are for our siblings and other family members. Even though we do things to our family members, and sometimes we don't like some of our family, that bond is still there. It's this family bond level of love that brought about the phrase, blood is thicker than water. We will do things for our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, and children before we would even consider doing them for anyone else. Many wars have been started because of this family level, brother avenging brother or father, father protecting his wife and children, or even vice versa. This simple family bond can even extend to include our pets, amazingly enough, and that is a good thing.
A third level to love, is the bond that brings man and woman together. This level is among the strongest of them all. It is this level of love that has brought together kingdoms into nations in the past, and ended many great wars. It's is also for the love of a woman that has started a few of our well-known wars, like the Trojan Wars of ancient times. It's brought together families that have argued for years and years, such as in the Shakespearean play, Romeo and Juliet. Even though the two mentioned killed themselves in the end, it still brought their families together.
The last mentionable level of love is that bond between a mother and her children. There is no stronger, nor will there ever be. This bond starts from the very first tiny fluttering of movement and never ends, even after death of the child. A mother protects her children in the name of love, and directs them through life using it as the example to follow. Well, at least it should be. It's because of her children a mother will work at a job she hates, just to make sure they have everything they could ever want or need.
The phrase, love makes the world go round is very true. It's is our driving force, for what ever reason it may be. Poems, plays, and legends can only briefly touch the true meaning of love. We can only feel what that meaning is, and express it in ways only we can understand towards another. The true question we should be asking is not, what is life, but what is love.
What is love? I don't know, but I'll do what I can to express it to my family and friends, and to every single pet I have or ever will own in the best possible way that I can.
Love comes in so many different levels, that it doesn't appear to be the same emotion at all, but it is. There is so much to love, that it will be hard to put into this simple essay. It can tear people apart and make us do irrational things to bringing together entire nations. What can this emotion not do? It's hard to tell, but there is a lot it can.
This emotion, bring tears to our eyes when something happens to our family members, friends, and pets. When we feel love ripped from us, as in death or being spurned by another, we do things we wouldn't normally do, such as go on violent rampages, or mourn to the extent that our loved ones have to watch us constantly to make sure we don't try anything like suicide. Some can move on, always remembering the lost loved one after a while, but others can not let go. These are the ones that need our love and support the most.
There are so many levels to love, that I can only express a few of them here. These are the ones we see most in life. Friendship starts this list off. Yes, it doesn't seem like it, but we do feel love towards our friends, this is what helps us get along so well, and why we miss them when we don't see our friends for a long time. It's also why we hold certain friends over others no matter what happens. Sometimes, the bond between friends deepens to the point where a stronger bond of love is made, making them family.
Another level of love, are for our siblings and other family members. Even though we do things to our family members, and sometimes we don't like some of our family, that bond is still there. It's this family bond level of love that brought about the phrase, blood is thicker than water. We will do things for our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, and children before we would even consider doing them for anyone else. Many wars have been started because of this family level, brother avenging brother or father, father protecting his wife and children, or even vice versa. This simple family bond can even extend to include our pets, amazingly enough, and that is a good thing.
A third level to love, is the bond that brings man and woman together. This level is among the strongest of them all. It is this level of love that has brought together kingdoms into nations in the past, and ended many great wars. It's is also for the love of a woman that has started a few of our well-known wars, like the Trojan Wars of ancient times. It's brought together families that have argued for years and years, such as in the Shakespearean play, Romeo and Juliet. Even though the two mentioned killed themselves in the end, it still brought their families together.
The last mentionable level of love is that bond between a mother and her children. There is no stronger, nor will there ever be. This bond starts from the very first tiny fluttering of movement and never ends, even after death of the child. A mother protects her children in the name of love, and directs them through life using it as the example to follow. Well, at least it should be. It's because of her children a mother will work at a job she hates, just to make sure they have everything they could ever want or need.
The phrase, love makes the world go round is very true. It's is our driving force, for what ever reason it may be. Poems, plays, and legends can only briefly touch the true meaning of love. We can only feel what that meaning is, and express it in ways only we can understand towards another. The true question we should be asking is not, what is life, but what is love.
What is love? I don't know, but I'll do what I can to express it to my family and friends, and to every single pet I have or ever will own in the best possible way that I can.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
